American entrepreneur and motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously said, and I quote, “It doesn’t matter which side of the fence you get off on sometimes. What matters most is getting off.”
Many of us faced said fence two years ago, we had to choose who we wanted to be, what we wanted to do; a lot of us, not unlike me I presume, took a leap of faith and landed safely on one side of it – this side happened to be Institute at Pune.
Two years have flown by and today we find ourselves at another such fence, yet another fork in the road – while some of us know where we are headed, others are still battling this dreaded fence – study or work? Money, meaning, or both?
So how do we answer that today – Do we make another leap?
I used to echo Jim Rohn’s sentiment – decision-making is a step toward progress, but this last travail of mine – i.e. the Fellowship – has taught me a thing or two about fences, decision-making and what we all like to call progress. Getting off the fence doesn’t always provide an answer to ‘what matters most’.
What I intend to share now are three things I learned, or more accurately unlearned, in the endeavour that they may help each of us in our own traverses through the proverbial fence.
The first is the story about Faruk. Faruk was a student in my class who lived in a dilapidated shanty at least 4 kilometres away from the school. None of his classmates lived near him; he walked to school, whenever he did, all by himself. I barely used to see him once a fortnight so I confronted him regarding his absence whenever I got the chance to and on one such occasion he revealed that he used his mornings to sell bricks and earn money. Shocked and angered, I tried to dialogue with him explaining the ‘benefits’ of school and how he had his whole adult life to make money. I was convinced that he needed to give up work as he was toying with his future – something I narrated to him often. I couldn’t fathom one of my students engaged in labour. Children shouldn’t be working for their livelihood at the age of 8, should they be?
Today Faruk no longer comes to school – not even once a fortnight; his father can’t pay for their family’s meals and admittedly uses Faruk’s income to keep the stove burning. Instead of trying to find a way around his job, I pushed Faruk to give it up altogether and ended up alienating him from school in the bargain.
Unlearning 1: Good intentions are important, so are strong beliefs, for they may be the only real source of generosity and nobility in this world, but bereft of context and critical thought they often end up exacerbating rather than resolving issues.
Had I, only for a moment even, not perceived Faruk from my own adamant, prejudiced point of view, had I asked myself the question – why can’t Faruk study and work? I may have been able to arrive at a compromise; I may have remained his teacher. I got off the fence; I made a decision without thinking about or understanding the consequences – I lost Faruk.
This brings me to a story – about Suraj. Suraj is a tiny little, doe-eyed creature in my class who can often be found scribbling notes agonizingly in a corner. When I assumed the post as his teacher he would spell his name S-A-R-U-J, and yet language wasn’t even what he struggled at most, arithmetic was where he was really vulnerable – or so I thought. By the time the rest of the class was on question eleven for any given Math assignment, Suraj had barely got around to question two. I spoke to his tuition teacher about strengthening his mental math ability, asked his parents to help with number drills – nothing worked – if anything he was getting worse. “Every reform moves at the proverbial snail’s pace,” Gandhi had said, he had not met Suraj I thought.
After last year’s mid-year assessments I found that Suraj had managed to attempt only 30% of the questions on an average in all previous tests combined. But staggeringly, in whatever he had attempted he answered correctly 90% of the times. What is even more astonishing is that Suraj is my only student who solves each number-operation question pictorially to this today. His responses are marked with tedious block drawings representing each number of his solution. His answer-sheets are nothing short of artwork. Speed not arithmetic aptitude is his Achilles heel. Suraj, much too late to my own detriment I realised, possesses exceptional conceptual understanding of numbers – so much so that today he is in charge of teaching other students subtraction-with-carry-over and multiplication problems. These other students he teaches often manage to outscore him in assessments thanks to the more number of questions they attempt; none of them however are as accurate as Suraj who meticulously compiles his answers one block at a time.
Unlearning 2: ‘Slow can be and is beautiful’. Remember the wise man (or was it woman?) who said, “good things come to those who wait”? I have forever known that speed thrills but kills, but never given ‘slowness’ its well-deserved due. There will come many a time in our futures where we will be stuck, ready to pull our hair out; we will have tirelessly worked for something, believed in something, taken a stand, made a decision and nothing would seem to budge. Let Suraj stand as an immortal reminder that although reform – inner or outer – moves at the proverbial snail’s (or Suraj’s) pace and doesn’t always occur how and when we want it to, it does have the propensity to leave us breathless – our job at times is to let it take its own shape, be its own being, and give it time; slow, I bet, will surprise you.
This brings me to my last, and I would argue indispensable, point. I, like many of you here I am sure, walked into the Fellowship knowing next to nothing about education. My ignorance coupled with curiosity led me to wage many a war within myself – Should children be driven through external rewards, won’t that kill intrinsic motivation? Why choose Dr.Suess and Shel Silverstein over Uncle Pai and R.K Narayan? Why track student behaviour; why the need to ‘train’ them, fit them to our notions of ‘good’ behaviour? Why backward plan from a ‘given’ objective, why not let students arrive at their own conclusions? Why assess performance in Math and English alone, why not in Hindi and Science as well? In India, English is the road to upward mobility and therefore must be taught, but isn’t our mother tongue a window to our culture and therefore equally, if not more, important?
This plethora of thoughts, unanswered riddles have left me burdened with conflict, saddled with chaos as you can well imagine. “The test of a first-rate intelligence,” said F. Scott Fitzgerald “is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.” The fact is that none of the questions we’re plagued with today have cut and dry, black and white answers. Our jobs, in fact our lives, demand of us this first rate intelligence Fitzgerald alluded to. At times our students need external motivation, at other times they don’t. Are we any different? Suess may be taught in conjunction with Pai – who are we to deprive our children of either? English and Hindi both must be taught, must be assessed.
Unlearning 3: Chaos and conflict are good. Why? Because to walk ‘the middle path’ we need to first ascertain, comprehend the extreme. The world we live in is full of incongruent half-truths and myriad shades of grey. The country we live in is pluralistic, diverse, multi-lingual and multi-cultural. This not only inflates the number of tangential ideas, but at times also leads to intractable extremes – chaos. This barrage of opposing thoughts and ideas however, helps us dig deeper, better informs our decisions, and ultimately, most importantly, makes our choices inclusive – without which surely no nation can survive, let alone thrive.
I would like to end by agreeing and respectfully disagreeing with Mr. Rohn. Yes, there will be many fences like the one we find ourselves on today, and yes, we will battle many decisions even after getting off those fences. But, if there’s anything these two years have taught me it’s this – no matter how much chaos we encounter in our paths, if we remember not to get phased by our inner conflicts, whilst also questioning our strongest beliefs, if we remember to bide our time, we will not have to get the off those fences blind. In our paths to ‘progress’ what we choose to do and how we choose to do it in fact ‘matters most’, for we are the true dispensers of India’s destiny as Tagore in his eternal words invoked – Jana gana mangal dayak jaya hey, bharat bhaagya vidhaata! Here’s wishing a gallant victory to all of us – jaya hey!